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How To Avoid Dating Someone Like Nate Jacobs

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***ClickSearch is NOT a phone spying service. Users will never have the ability to surreptitiously track, monitor, or spy on someone’s phone. ClickSearch cannot be used to stalk, secretly track, or monitor someone’s cell phone without them knowing.***

Have you ever seen the TV show Euphoria? No? With one season already in the books, you can catch up with the Euphoria guys and gals and discover why people can’t stop talking about it. This popular teen drama series follows a group of students as they navigate through the rigors of high school life. Friendships, love, sex, drugs, identity, trauma, basically all of life’s dramas, are put on display. With star actress Zendaya taking on the lead role and showcasing issues that are very relatable to today’s teens and young adults,  it’s no wonder that the show has successfully captured a huge audience.

While there is a character or two that audiences can relate to, probably because they have experienced – or are experiencing – what the character is going through in real life, there is one character on the show that the viewers love to hate. In an ensemble cast, there is rarely a consensus pick on the most hated character in the show. That is not the case for Euphoria. Everyone loves to hate Nate Jacobs, the main antagonist in the show who displays all the signs of a narcissist.

Who is Nate Jacobs?

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Nate Jacobs, played by actor Jacob Elordi (of The Kissing Booth fame), is the resident athlete in the show. The typical popular quarterback of the football team who is dating the most popular girl, and pretty much well-liked among his peers. On paper, he seems like the ideal guy that girls dream of. He has the looks, the smarts, and always has the right words and actions to charm his way into your heart. Lots of girls would not squander the opportunity to go on a date with Nate Jacobs. Not to mention he is well-off too. Brains, brawn, and benjamins, this guy has it all.

But it wouldn’t be a drama if it was all rainbows and butterflies. Just like most characters in Euphoria, or any other teen soap for that matter,  the Nate Jacobs package doesn’t come without his flaws. What makes Nate different from his schoolmates – and other TV show jocks – is the way that he deals with his issues. Often described as a sociopath and even a psychopath, Nate often resorts to violence and playing mind games with his victims in order to cover up his own issues and insecurities. His need to control and be in command in every situation are perfect displays of toxic masculinity, rich white male privilege, and narcissism. 

It is these traits that have Nate as the most hated person in Euphoria. And it’s pretty easy to understand why. Maybe it’s the way he executes his misdeeds with ease. Or that the town seems to allow him to get away with it. Maybe his lack of remorse for his actions is what really triggers the audience. Whatever the reason, he just makes it so easy for us to hate him.

Probably the biggest reason that audiences hate Nate is because they fear him. Not a scary movie kind of fear, like how you are afraid of Jason, Freddie, or the Clown from It, but the real-life kind of fear. Why? Because Nate Jacobs is the type of monster that exists in the real world. Though the series takes Nate’s actions to the extreme for dramatic purposes, the threat of having a real Nate Jacobs in your school or community is all too real. Plus, with the kind of relationship Nate has with his father, Cal Jacobs, Euphoria adds a family dynamic that some kids can relate to.

Knowing what you know now about Nate Jacobs, a real-life relationship with someone who has similar characteristics is definitely one to avoid.

What Is a Narcissist?

When I was younger, I thought that a narcissist was someone who believed that they were the prettiest or the most handsome person in the world. I knew it was a mental condition but I thought it was harmless to others. I mean, go ahead, proclaim yourself prettier than Venus or Aphrodite, no one would really believe you. Or make your claim to be even more desirable than Adonis. Right, you do you, bro.

The only instance I could think of where narcissism would affect others would be when two ‘all-world’ beauties would come face to face and duke it out to claim the title. Still, that would be no threat to us. Maybe a threat to our purses because we’d be in major betting mode.

It turns out that I was only partly correct.  Where I was mistaken was that I believed that they were harmless. Not only can they affect the people around them, but they can also do so in many different ways.

Kinds of Narcissists

According to a top clinical psychologist, narcissists can be generally classified into 4 main types:

  1. Classical: these are the attention seeking and peer validating types. Arrogant and grandiose, they hardly listen to anyone and usually lack empathy to the people around them.
  1. Communal: Similar to classical narcissists, only on a much bigger scale. They put themselves out there, trying to save the world. Some are more sincere than others in their cause, but the goals are the same: to be recognized and admired.
  1. Covert: Masters of passive-aggressive behavior, they know how to victimize themselves by putting the blame on someone else when things don’t go their way. They believe that the world is at a loss because their greatness is not on display.
  1. Malignant: take all the worse personality traits of the 3 other types of narcissists, and crank it up to eleven! Bordering on psychopathic behavior, those that belong to this type are usually mean, and they are comfortable with having to lie, cheat, or steal just to get what they want. All without feeling guilty or remorseful at all.

Narcissists can have varying effects on people, from irritating to downright threatening. This is why it’s best to just stay away from their toxic environment for your own wellbeing, both mentally and physically.

Is My Boyfriend A Narcissist?

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What if you are already in a relationship and you are unsure if he fits the profile of any of the 4 types, or even if he is a narcissist at all? Yeah, sometimes he is so full of himself and thinks the world of himself, but maybe it’s just confidence. An abundance of it, for sure, but confidence nonetheless. A confident person is a good person, right? Plus, it has not really affected me or our relationship.  Maybe you’ve just been watching too much Euphoria and it’s made you paranoid. 

Of course, a little bit of self-appreciation doesn’t automatically make him a narcissist. A humble brag now and then for a job well done is allowed, especially if a lot of hard work and effort was put into that job. But, knowing if your boyfriend is showing signs of narcissistic behavior wouldn’t hurt, either. If you can catch it early on, you can help talk him through it and have a healthy relationship and a happy ever after.

Signs You’re Dating A Narcissist

how to tell if youre dating a narcissist

Here are a few signs that your better half might not be the best pair for you:

  • Flirting On Social Media

We’ve established that narcissists crave attention. Wherever they get noticed and by whom is beside the point. Now that almost everyone in the world is on one platform of social media or another, their personal stage to wow anyone and everyone just got bigger. Remember he got you on the hook because of his charm and his way with words. For a narcissist, flirting with other people on social media is just another way to earn a new admirer. Just like you.

Oh, do keep in mind that flirting is the road that often leads to cheating, which would be another obstacle in your relationship. Dealing with a narcissist is difficult enough, Having a cheating narcissist as your before just takes things to a whole new level of bad.

  • Always On Their Phone And Secretive About It

What they do, who they talk to, is of no concern to you. Be it on their phone or in the real world. They are not obligated to tell you anything. You’ll know when they tell you; if they tell you. This is how a narcissist looks at you and your relationship. You are just along for the ride and you should be grateful that they chose you to be seen around with.

Also, being secretive and defensive with whatever they are keeping from you are narcissist cheating patterns that you should always keep in the back of your head.

  • Accusing You of Things

Narcissists are never wrong. If something doesn’t go according to plan, they will accuse you of being the cause of the fault. Even if it’s clear as day that they are the ones at fault, narcissists are spin masters and will twist every word that comes out of your mouth.

The worst part about this is that they can be so convincing that you will believe that it was your fault. And you will feel bad about it and end up apologizing for something that was never your fault.

  • Behavior Changes

Because narcissists are emotionally detached, mood swings and behavioral changes happen often and seemingly in the blink of an eye. This leaves you confused and helpless since you will immediately blame yourself believing that you caused him to suddenly change the way he acts toward you.

  • Avoiding Relationship Conversations

These people don’t really care about the relationship they have with you. They just want the benefits of the relationship without the commitment. Your main role here is to make them look good because their image and reputation are more important to them than your relationship. Thus, any talk concerning the relationship between the two of you is immediately thrown out the window, especially if they cannot see any benefit such conversation will bring them. 

  • Showering You With Gifts

Most narcissists are usually financially successful or come from well-off families who do not care about how their offspring spend their money. Therefore, the monetary value of whatever they give you doesn’t matter to them. And since we’ve already established that they don’t consider themselves to be in a relationship with, there is also no emotional value to their gifts. These are merely to keep you happy or distracted enough – or both – so you won’t bother or interfere with whatever it is they are doing.  With whoever they are doing it with.

Gifts are their way of keeping you in check, reminding you not to bite the hand that feeds you, in a way.

Why Do Narcissists Cheat?

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If you take a closer look at these signs of narcissistic behavior, it is not wrong of you to assume that another reason he is acting this way is that he is because he is cheating on you. All the secrecy, blame-shifting, and even the unending gifts. All these seem to point that there is someone else keeping them occupied.

Well, of course, there is someone else! There will always be someone else. Admiration, attention, and approval from anyone and everyone is one of the main goals of a narcissist, and cheating would not be a valid accusation since they do not even consider that they are in a relationship with you.  

So, does your boyfriend’s behavior tick any of the boxes in our ‘what is a narcissist’ checklist? If you notice your partner exhibiting even just one of these personality traits, take that as a red flag. You are most likely in bed with a narcissist, meaning it’s time to consider packing up your bags and leaving.

How To Deal With A Narcissist

Narcissistic personality disorders are hardly cured. These people are highly resistant to change because they don’t think that there is anything wrong with them in the first place. Convincing them that there is a problem is already a difficult first step. After that, a lengthy therapy and counseling regimen will be on the table. Not to mention that Narcissism can go hand in hand with other personality disorders like substance abuse and bipolar disorder. 

Can your relationship survive that? More importantly, can you survive it? The stress of having a relationship with a narcissist will surely affect your mental health and the longer you stay in that relationship, the longer it will take for you to recover if you can recover at all. And, if you have your own problems and are already having a hard time dealing with it, narcissistic personality behavior can only bring you down even further. 

Vet Your Dates With ClickSearch

Now, If you are still on the market and looking for a partner, it would be best for you to know everything about a person before deciding if he is mister right. Sure, that’s what dating is for right? It’s the getting-to-know-you stage. But wouldn’t it be nice to know all the information you need before the first hello in person? Can we make sure that the Nate Jacobs I’m set to meet is a nice guy, and not Nate Jacobs, Euphoria version? Worry not, with ClickSearch, you can get all the data you need without having to meet in person.

ClickSearch is a state-of-the-art people finder program that allows you to run a background check on your next date. Simply type in the name or phone number on the ClickSearch search bar, and you know instantly whether someone has a criminal record or appears on a sex offender database. Get information on their public arrest records (if any), liens, gun licenses, mugshots, and more right on your phone.

Know before you go! With the power of ClickSearch in the palm of your hand, you can be sure that your next date will be fun, and more importantly, safe for you.

***ClickSearch is NOT a phone spying service. Users will never have the ability to surreptitiously track, monitor, or spy on someone’s phone. ClickSearch cannot be used to stalk, secretly track, or monitor someone’s cell phone without them knowing.***

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