Marriage 101: Basic Things To Know Before Tying The Knot

Marriage is referred to as tying the knot as it is the process of uniting two people in a single bond that will, hopefully, last a lifetime.

Whether you’ve decided to elope with your partner, to dive into a common law marriage, or to go through a traditional ceremony, you have to be consciously aware of what you’re getting yourself into. Marriage is not like a trial and error experiment; it is a long-term commitment.

Marriage: Before The Event

Dating is like a prerequisite of marriage. It’s the much-needed stage to get to know each other. So, before officiating and legalizing your relationship, you both need to establish openness and acceptance. Before taking the big leap, make sure you really know your partner.

Browse their social media accounts to understand their past.
Look up their criminal history records to ensure they haven’t been hiding anything from you.
Search to see if they were previously married or divorced.
Make it a point to meet those that are important to them: Family, friends, coworkers, etc.
Thoroughly get to know your partner. What are their hobbies and interests?
Make sure you both are on the same page when it comes to your future. What are their goals and dreams? Do they want to have kids? Will they want to eventually move?

After addressing the above points, you’ll know for certain if you want to tie the knot.

Marriage: After The Event

Marriage doesn’t guarantee you happily ever after. Just because the big day is over, doesn’t mean your relationship stops changing and evolving. In fact, the real work starts after marriage.

Consistency

It takes a consistent effort to maintain and nurture a healthy marriage. You both have to endlessly and tirelessly express your love for one another. It doesn’t have to be always grand gestures or expensive gifts. A goodnight kiss or a breakfast in bed, for instance, can go a long way.

Growth

Work on your personal growth together. Just because you’re living under the same roof doesn’t mean you have to spend every moment with each other. You have to maintain personal spaces and allow each other to go after your personal desires. Support them without suffocating them. Give them, and yourself, room to grow and bloom.

Commitment

An intimate relationship is not just about the physical touches, but the unspoken commitment as well. It’s about that assurance that you let them know not through plain words, but actions. It takes a lot of dedication and devotion from both parties for a marriage to last.

Self-love is a crucial requirement for a successful marriage. After all, you can't give what you don't have. Like how Alexandra Solomon, a licensed clinical psychologist and professor at Northwestern University, points out in her “Relational Self-Awareness: The Key to Navigating Modern Love” talk, you have to acknowledge and embrace yourself first, allowing you to open up to and connect with your better half.

Marriage may sound scary, but it's undeniably a beautiful thing.